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Second Date: How to Ask Out and What to Talk about

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What’s the best thing about second dates? Feelings sparkle with bright colors, and you’re full of excitement and eager to learn as much as possible about your companion. But unlike the first time, you have fewer things to worry about, and this allows you to take a sober look at your fresh relationship. So, how to ask your partner out on a second date, what to talk about it, and what to do if things don’t go as planned? Let’s find out.

How to ask your date out

What you shouldn’t do is ask them out right after the first date ends. Sure, you might want to set things straight and let your companion know you want to meet again. But this might bring problems. For instance if:

– Feelings suddenly fade after the date;

– Your companion didn’t have enough time to think the date over;

– You don’t share feelings;

– You had another date, which was better.

What’s left? Two options. You can overcome the awkwardness and cancel the date or go on it out of pity, fear of explaining or insulting, and then spend the night searching for an excuse to run away.

What to talk about on the second date

You’ve probably already asked them about work, hobbies, and pets. Here are a few more topics for a chat.

Your first date

Recall what your companion told you last time. They’ll be glad to know that you were listening. Besides, if they did or said something weird, it would be a good idea to talk about it.

Plans and goals

Find out their life priorities (family, career, self-development, etc.). Ask a question about where they would like to live. Talk about their main goals for the future. But try to avoid asking about their financial issues.

Their family

Ask about their loved ones. Learn more about the relationship with their parents and relatives. Not everyone is lucky to be born into a great family, so it can be difficult for your companion to talk about their relationship with their folks. Keep that in mind.

If there’s an age difference, and you don’t know how to break the ice, check out these tips for dating a much younger girl.

How to end a date

If everything’s great

Unlike the first date, the second one allows you to ask your companion away anytime. However, this doesn’t mean you must use this opportunity. If you have doubts, it’s better to wait.

At this stage, it’s too early to mention relationships. Sure, some couples get married a few months after they meet, but statistically, such marriages are rare and mostly unhappy.

It’s up to you to decide how to say goodbye and whether to ask them out. Just be sincere. Openness attracts and helps to understand if a person fits for something serious.

If something went wrong

If you realized that you don’t want to build a relationship with this person, don’t hesitate to say it. Otherwise, your companion might start having plans.

It’s hard to say no. There’s always awkwardness and guilt. But this is better than deceiving and wasting each other’s time. Besides, it’s much easier to break up after a second date than after the fifth or tenth. Here’s how to do it:

– Thank them for the date;

– Directly but politely say that things won’t work out between you;

– Be sure to name the reason for your decision;

– Apologize for the time and attention they spent on you;

– Wish them good luck in finding the right person and leave.

– Speak softly, calmly, respectfully, and openly, avoiding any ambiguity.

Although the second date isn’t as memorable as the first one, it shows your companion from a new perspective. If you find the person intriguing, great! If not, the second date can easily become the last. It’s the first date that’s usually the most unforgettable, romantic, and emotional. The second one must be informative and beneficial.

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Health & Wellness

Study Finds That India Might Have Half Of All Covid-19 Deaths Worldwide

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© UNICEF/Vinay

On July 20th, an analysis that was published of India’s “excess mortality estimates from three different data sources from the pandemic’s start through June 2021 … yields an estimate of 4.9 million excess deaths.” As-of July 20th, the total number of deaths that had been officially reported worldwide from Covid-19 was 4,115,391, and only 414,513 (10%) of those were in India. If this new study is correct, then the possibility exists that around half of all deaths that have occurred, thus far, from Covid-19, could be in India, not merely the currently existing 10% that’s shown in the official figures.

This study doesn’t discuss why the actual number of deaths in India from Covid-19 might be around ten times higher than the official Indian figures, but one reason might be a false attribution of India’s greatly increased death-rate from the Covid-19 epidemic not to Covid-19 but to other causes, such as to Covid-19-related illnesses.

The new study is titled “Three New Estimates of India’s All-Cause Excess Mortality during the COVID-19 Pandemic”, and the detailed version of it can be downloaded here.   The study was funded by U.S.-and-allied billionaires and their foundations and corporations, and by governments that those billionaires also might control. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that its methodology is in any way unscientific or otherwise dubious. The study raises serious questions — it does not, in and of itself, answer any. It’s a serious scientific study.

On 1 August 2020, I headlined “India and Brazil Are Now the Global Worst Coronavirus Nations”, and reported that, “India and Brazil have now overtaken the United States as the world’s worst performers at controlling the cononavirus-19 plague. The chart of the numbers of daily new cases in India shows the daily count soaring more than in any other country except Brazil, whereas in the United States, the daily number of new cases has plateaued ever since it hit 72,278 on July 10th, three weeks ago.” At that time, there was great pressure upon India’s Government to stop the alarming acceleration in the daily numbers of people who were officially counted as being patients (active cases) from the disease, and of dying from it. One way that a government can deal with such pressures is by mis-classifying cases, and deaths, from a disease, as being due to other causes, instead.

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Health & Wellness

Sharp rise in Africa COVID-19 deaths

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A volunteer carer called Trinity is working in a COVID-19 field hospital in Nasrec, Johannesburg. IMF/James Oatway

COVID-19 deaths in Africa have risen sharply in recent weeks, amid the fastest surge in cases the continent has seen so far in the pandemic, the regional office for the World Health Organization (WHO) said on Thursday. 

Fatalities are rising as hospital admissions increase rapidly as countries face shortages in oxygen and intensive care beds. 

COVID-19 deaths rose by more than 40 per cent last week, reaching 6,273, or nearly 1,900 more than the previous week. 

The number is just shy of the 6,294 peak, recorded in January. 

Reaching ‘breaking point’ 

“Deaths have climbed steeply for the past five weeks. This is a clear warning sign that hospitals in the most impacted countries are reaching a breaking point,” said Dr Matshidiso Moeti, WHO Regional Director for Africa.  

“Under-resourced health systems in countries are facing dire shortages of the health workers, supplies, equipment and infrastructure needed to provide care to severely ill COVID-19 patients.” 

Africa’s case fatality rate, which is the proportion of deaths among confirmed cases, stands at 2.6 per cent compared to the global average of 2.2 per cent.  

Most of the recent deaths, or 83 per cent, occurred in Namibia, South Africa, Tunisia, Uganda and Zambia. 

Six million cases 

COVID-19 cases on the continent have risen for eight consecutive weeks, topping six million on Tuesday, WHO reported. 

An additional one million cases were recorded over the past month, marking the shortest time to reach this grim milestone. Comparatively, it took roughly three months for cases to jump from four million to five million. 

Delta, variants drive surge 

The surge is being driven by public fatigue with key health measures and an increased spread of virus variants.  

The Delta variant, the most transmissible, has been detected in 21 countries, while the Alpha and Beta variants have been found in more than 30 countries each. 

Globally, there are four COVID-19 virus variants of concern.  On Wednesday, a WHO emergency committee meeting in Geneva warned of the “strong likelihood” of new and possibly more dangerous variants emerging and spreading. 

Delivering effective treatment

WHO is working with African countries to improve COVID-19 treatment and critical care capacities.  

The UN agency and partners are also delivering oxygen cylinders and other essential medical supplies, and have supported the manufacture and repair of oxygen production plants. 

“The number one priority for African countries is boosting oxygen production to give critically ill patients a fighting chance,” Dr Moeti said. “Effective treatment is the last line of defence against COVID-19 and it must not crumble.” 

The rising caseload comes amid inadequate vaccine supplies. So far, 52 million people in Africa have been inoculated, which is just 1.6 per cent of total COVID-19 vaccinations worldwide.  

Meanwhile, roughly 1.5 per cent of the continent’s population, or 18 million people, are fully vaccinated, compared with over 50 per cent in some high-income countries. 

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Health & Wellness

Child mental health crisis ‘magnified’ by COVID

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A seven-year-old child looks out the window in Istanbul, Turkey, during the COVID-19 emergency. Closure of schools, disruption of health services and suspension of nutrition programmes, due to the coronavirus pandemic, have affected hundreds of millions of children globally. Photo: UNICEF

Half of the world’s children experience violence on and offline in some form every year, with “devastating and life-long consequences” for their mental health, the UN chief warned a symposium on the issue on Thursday.

In a video address to an event organized within the on-going High-Level Political Forum (HLPF), on mental health and wellbeing, he said that mental health services have long suffered from neglect and underinvestment, with “too few children” accessing the services they need.

Services cut

“The COVID-19 pandemic has magnified the problem. Millions of children are out of school, increasing their vulnerability to violence and mental stress, while services have been cut or moved online.

“As we consider investing in a strong recovery, support for children’s mental wellbeing must be a priority”, said Secretary-General António Guterres.

“I also urge governments to take a preventive approach by addressing the determinants of mental well-being through robust social protection for children and families”, he added, saying that mental health and psychosocial support, together with community-based approaches to care, are “integral to universal health coverage. They cannot be its forgotten part.”

Child’s view paramount

He also urged authorities everywhere to take the views and lived-experiences of children themselves, exposed to increasing on and offline threats, into account when formulating policies and protection strategies.

“Children play an important role in supporting each other’s mental wellbeing. They must be empowered as part of the solution. Let’s work together for sustainable, people-centered, resilient societies, where all children live free from violence and with the highest standards of mental health”, he concluded.

Children contribute

The meeting co-organized with the Permanent Mission of Belgium to the United Nations, and the Group of Friends on mental health and wellbeing, featured a video with contributions from children from 19 countries who took action to support one another.

UN Special Representative on Violence Against Children, Maalla M’jid, highlighted the devastating impact of violence on the mental health of children: “Exposure to violence and other adverse childhood experiences can evoke toxic responses to stress that cause both immediate and long-term physiological and psychological damage.

“In addition to the human cost, the economic cost of mental illness is significant”, she added.

Opportunity for change

The recovery phase of the pandemic, provides an opportunity for countries to invest in this field, she said, emphasizing that “we cannot go back to normal. Because what was ‘normal’ before the pandemic was not good enough, with countries spending on average only 2% of their health budgets on mental health.

“In addition to more investment, we need to change our approach to mental health. Building on the lessons of the pandemic, mental health and child protection services must be recognized as life-saving and essential.

“They must be incorporated into both emergency preparedness and longer-term planning and children must also shape the design, delivery and evaluation of responses”, she added.

The meeting contributed to raising awareness of the impact of violence on the mental health of children, both before and during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Examples were shared of effective approaches to supporting children’s mental health from different regions and in different settings; to identify what steps are needed to embed mental health best practices; put child protection and social protection services into action to build back better after the pandemic, while also supporting the Decade of Action to deliver the SDGs by 2030.

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