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Hijrah, Immigration: the Islamic Practice in the Infidels’ Lands

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What are the mechanisms the strategy of Hijrah is operated as to achieve world Islamic rule? Two important means are Tamkīn and I‘dād.

Tamkīn means to enable control in all relevant matters, to consolidate Islamic rule (Sûratal-A‘rāf, 7:10; Sûrat Yusûf, 12:56; Sûrat al-Kahf, 18:84; Sûrat al-Hājj, 22:41; Sûrat al-Qasas 28:6). I’dād means preparation in military terms against the infidel enemies (Sûrat al-Anfāl, 8:60. From this verse comes the logo of the Muslim Brotherhood). In contemporary usage, it internally means consolidating the Muslim community by socialization and indoctrination processes; and externally, it grants the Muslims the legitimacy to infiltrate all Dār al-Kufr’s infrastructure and institutions in order to conquer them from within. The reference is to the example of Abraham who emigrated for the sake of Allah (Sûrat al-‘Anqabût, 29:26).

This example raises the ability to use power and to seize the host lands. That is why the establishment and empowerment of the Islamic Ummah through Hijrah to the infidels’ lands is a command of Allah for Islam’s victory.it is also accompanied by the command to perform “good” and to abstain from “evil” (Sûrat al-‘Imrān, 3:110, 114, 132; Sûrat al-Taubah, 9:71, 112). However, doing “good” has never meant practicing the universal or moral of Western Golden Rule for the sake of mankind or recognizing and legitimizing the other, but only domestically, doing good within the Islamic community.

The pinnacle of that “good” in political terms is to promote Islam as the only religion and to work for the advancement of Islamic interests (Masālih al-Islām). Therefore, it is important for Western public opinion to understand that when Muslims declare in praise of peace, tranquility, and cooperation it is not for mutual peaceful relationships with the infidels, in a pluralistic world, according to Western conceptions, but only for the Islamic interests, advancement, and achievements. There is no recognition and no acceptance of the other’s legitimate existence.

The Islamic ethnocentric and one-dimensional approach system is exemplified by the following: “The religion before Allah is Islam alone” (Sûrat al-‘Imrān, 3:19). “Whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted by him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” (Sûrat al-‘Imrān, 3:85). The Arabs are the most dignified and noble nation among all human race. As for the infidels, “we will fight them forever for the sake of Allah. Killing the infidels is a small matter for us,” according to the historian and biographer of Muhammad, al-Tabari. Muslim believers are the only purified among human race, as Allah loves those who are purified (Sûrat al-Taubah, 9:108). Evil is always related to the infidels. Abstaining from “evil” and performing “good” also means that Muslims are forbidden to live among the infidels under their laws and way of life, and to become their friends. A loyal (Mukhlis) Muslim means total submission and devotion to Allah.

At the same time, to be an infidel means miserable and corrupt life in this world and the agony of hellfire in the hereafter. From here stems the absolute readiness of Muslims to kill and be killed for the sake of Allah, as a win-win situation:

“Those who fight in the way of Allah, who sell this world’s life for the hereafter; and whoever fights in the way of Allah, be he slain or be he victorious, we shall grant him a mighty reward” (Sûrat al-Nisā’, 4:74).

“…they fight for the sake of Allah; they slay and are slain; a promise which is binding on Him…” (Sûrat al-Taubah, 9:111).

This is the right natural world order that should be preserved and becomes constant. Moreover, it is not only a win-win for those who die for the sake of Allah, and not only the glorious life in Paradise with virgins there, but it is the eternity of life for the Shuhadā’ with Allah (Sûrat al-Baqarah, 2:154; Sûrat al-‘Imrān, 3:169).

The purpose is to tear down the societal infrastructure of the enemy by Hijrah and Jihad. This is to be operated by infiltration of the Muslims in Dār al-Kufr and deceiving the infidels in calculated schemed stages. It is a step by step methodology of migration processes designed to subdue and subjugate the host society, culminating in the implementation of the Sharī‘ah. The Islamization of the infidels’ territories becomes inevitable. That is why the future is with Islam, and the destiny of Islam is to win over the infidels as a must.

As a part of the Hijrah socialization and indoctrination, the message is to sanctify Mecca in the hearts of the believers, so that even the Muslims are immigrants in faraway territories, they must keep their Islamic identity and must not integrate and assimilate in their host societies. Hence, even though Muslims reside in faraway territories, still their loyalty and activity is solely to the Islamic Khilāfah.

As the example of Muhammad is absolutely binding to all Muslims, they follow his life-time and experience that have passed over four main stages: (a) A world transformer (challenging the existing system in Mecca and supplying alternative rules and operational codes for the believers); (b) A world abstinent in solitary (immigrating to secure place from the threatening existing situation and creating an enclave of refugee believers); (c) A world new creator (transforming the situation from passivity to activity by accumulating powerful political resources and establishing a unified religious community of believers); (d) A world conqueror (making the enclave a basis of expansionist territorial policy by military occupation and Islamization of the occupied territories).

This phased strategy has become, as everything in Muhammad’s life, a contemporary modus operandi for the believers, to be operated by the Hijrah:

Stage One. Muslim organizations must act to change the situation in Arab-Muslim countries that have become apostate, governed by infidel-like rule and laws. The inability to succeed in taking the reins of government; the harsh oppressing political situation; and the economic depression, have compelled the true believers to flee and immigrate to Western countries. Though the Islamic rules of the Hijrah pose them a dilemma of how to correctly behave in Dār al-Kufr, they act to retain their original Islamic identity and to resist the infidel’s challenge.

Stage Two. The domestic integration process in Dār al-Kufr begins with encouraging the Muslims group of Muhājirûn (immigrants) to establish a community of believers, centered on a local mosque. Mosques are at the heart of the spiritual change, the most crucial infrastructure for the establishment of the Muslim community. Clerics serve as the main political component in the processes of the phased strategy for occupying Dār al-Kufr. Without the Imām’s role there is no meaning to the community coherence and adherence. That is to say, religious leadership is what makes the basic important difference in the march of Islam to occupy the world.

The building of the physical presence consists first and foremost the encouraging of Islamic educational system of Madāris (religious schools). It is the Imām’s main arm that constitutes the utmost important means of consolidating and segregating of the Muslim community. The next in importance is the imposition of teaching the Arabic language. Praying and speaking Arabic in public have become a weapon the Muslim leaders use for socialization and indoctrination of the youth, and for “enslaving” the non-Arab Muslims to abide by the Arab culture.

Next in importance are the Muslim behavior and dress. There are rules of behavior Muslims must keep and follow to differentiate them from the outer society. Even the women dress codes of Hijāb and Niqāb are used as a political performance. Muslim street prayers are important components in the process of integration and consolidation of the internal Islamic community, and serve as a political declaration of supremacy against the infidels externally. These street prayers have nothing to do with practicing the religion but serves as a political agitation against the outer society. They have enough places of prayers, and mosque are abound. But closing the main streets with masses is totally political, to introduce the Islamic call.

These Muslim activities, among many others, appear to be reasonable and logical among the host society’s mind, as if they are part of the culture and religion to be cherished in a pluralistic liberal society. From the mirror image perspective, the infidels do not understand the meaning and aims of the Islamic standings, and they stumble and fail to the hazards Islam poses. The infidels’ ignorance and the gaps of cultures increase the Muslims’ demands and actually empower them to proceed to the next stage in the Islamization process.

This process is exacerbated by Western politics of denial and ignorance. Within the last years in the US, the word “Jihad” has been expunged from the governmental branches lexicon. What is more painful and disastrous is that “Jihad” is wrongly translated as the inner struggle of the Muslim believer. This is the fruit of the fraud Islamic propagation. Jihād and Mujahādah come from the third Arabic conjugation, and they mean war, fight and struggle in the battleground. Indeed, ignorance, stupidity, and naïve perceptions are the cause to the ongoing failures of Western leaders and public opinion molders to comprehend Islam and to deal with Muslim propagators. Moreover, self-censorship has reached the pick as the words, “Islamic” and “terrorism,” are forbidden to be used together. The American Administration impose the belief that Islam is a religion of peace while terrorism is related to un-Islamic groups like al-Qaeda and the Islamic Caliphate State.

Stage Three. When the critical mass is achieved and consolidation of the Islamic identity occurs, Muslims act to seek political, cultural, and religious changes in the land of the Kuffār. The tactics Muslims use in the host countries is very successful, just because it seems reasonable and understandable in the minds of the infidels. The Muslims begin with asking permission to accept or adopt small acceptable changes in humble and flattering ways; when fulfilled and in time, it goes on to requests with more determined and direct approach; then it continues with sheer demands that do not accept “no” as an answer; and it is culminated with threats and violence to consolidate the changes and make them authorizing laws. These stages are exhibited according to the responsiveness of the host society and the level of its tolerance.

In-between, Muslims buy everything they can with huge money flows from the oil-producing countries, mainly Saudi-Arabia and Qatar, with the aim of buying political influence and power. The main focus is on the academia: most of the universities have been “conquered,” by money that goes to faculties and research centers, by Muslim faculty members, and mainly by huge active mass students in the campuses with high political participation, serving as propaganda agents.    

Muslim communities are encouraged to riot in violence against the host countries to demand special privileges; as if it is a retaliation to challenge Islamophobic behavior and to ruthlessly act if they were “insulted.” In this process, Muslims create a Sharī‘ah-zone areas in their neighborhoods; and apply for segregation at public places and educational institutions. This leads to further alienation from the host society, and act as a consolidation the segregation mode among the Muslims. Indeed, “no-go zones” and even demanding the indigenous inhabitants to pay the Jizyah already exist throughout Europe. Using Jihad and Da`wah strategies; requests for Halāl foods; Sharī’ah-compliant financial banking transactions; and adding of Muslim holidays (‘Id al-Fitr; ‘Id al-Adha) to public-formal calendar of the host societies, further elevate the Muslim community to become distinct and segregated.

The case of Halāl food is indicative. The Qur’anic injunction clearly states that meat slaughtered and other foods made by Jews and Christians are lawful for the Muslims (Sûrat al-Mā’idah, 5:3). So there is no need for Muslim slaughtering areas and other food demands, which proves that even the Halāl meat has become a political tool of segregation. To prove this issue, there is the Pledge of Allegiance composed for the Muslims in the United States that empowers their segregation and distinctiveness:

“As an American Muslim, I pledge allegiance to Allah and his Prophet; I respect my family and my community; and I dedicate my life to serving the cause of the truth and justice.”

This is highly important: Muslims in the United States “pledge allegiance” not to the “flag of the US of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all,” but “to Allah and to his Prophet,” Muhammad. They do not respect the US community and American way of life, but the community of Islam, the Ummah. And they give honor and allegiance to the truth and Justice not of the American Constitution, but of Islam and in the cause of Islam, embodied in the Sharī`ah as the highly abiding law.

In the words of Mustafa Carroll, executive director of the Dallas-Fort-Worth CAIR branch: “If we are practicing Muslims, we are above the law of the land… Islam is not the problem; Islam is the solution.” In the words of Omar Ahmad, CAIR chairman: “Islam is not in the US to be equal to any other faiths, but to become dominant. The Qur’an should be the highest authority and Islam the only religion on earth.” Sheikh Zaid Shaqir, Muslim Chaplain of Yale University, has put it: “Muslims cannot accept the legitimacy of the secular system of the United States. It is against the orders and ordinances of Allah… and must be abolished.” Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi has reiterated this idea: “Islam will return to Europe and the US by Da‘wah and not by Jihad, and the Europeans will convert to Islam, and disseminate Islam, and the entire world becomes Muslim.”

Out of 1.5 billion Muslims, approximately 400 million live as religious minorities in infidel states. In the absence of Islamic central authority, power should be put in the hands of the Muslim scholars to govern instead. The President of the Sharī`ah Council of Britain has declared: “In the absence of Islamic Court in any country where Muslims are in a minority and the state does not recognize Islamic Law, Muslims are required to form a board of Islamic jurists to judge in the personal matters relating to Sharia. Its decisions will be binding on all Muslims living as a minority community.”

In Britain it is more apparent as there are also Islamic courts that rule according to the Sharī‘ah in eighty-five judicial provinces. A research done by Colin Dye in September 2007, gives practical examples of how Muslims have implemented the principles of Islam’s judiciary system in the conquest of the United Kingdom, with the gradual progression toward the establishment of an Islamic supremacy.

This is a strategy to get the host society accustomed to Islamic way of life, mosques, holidays, dress, and food. Any action to suppress these demands is decried as religious discrimination, condemned as racism, and entails violent reactions of mob disturbances and riots in the streets and death threats. This is a winning strategy, as it targets at the heart of Western political traumas of colonialism (Europe) and of racism (US), and causes the free world to apologize and to subdue. Add to all these multiculturalism and political correctness, the two Western disastrous distorted inventions that enable Arab-Islamic strategy of Hijrah to succeed in Dār al-Kufr.

Stage Four. Expansionist politics starts when many Islamic local enclaves begin to merge as to create larger and powerful territorial frameworks. These enclaves spread like a virus in the body, occupying more and more organs with the aim to control the entire body by replacing it and adopting a new system.

Formally, it starts by using the Islamic pillar of Zakāt to donate for the cause of Islam. Donations are targeted to the needy of the Islamic communities (never to Infidels. Contrary to Islamic propagation, it is only for the Muslim community and not allowed to be given to infidels! That is why when natural disasters occur around the world, one does not find the rich Muslim states on the list of assistance. The call from the Imāms is culminated by the direct act of the Muslim youths, exactly the third generation, to volunteer and fight in Arab-Muslim states, like Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Chechnya; fighting against imperialism (Isti‘mār) and reaction (Raj‘īyah), and fighting against Taghût, Muslim regimes that are not ruled according to the Sharī‘ah. It is however allowed to endow Zakāt money with the purpose to bringing nations to Islam, like Mali, Niger, and Nigeria; and to assist the fighters against Christian states like Kenya and Ethiopia. In the words of Samuel Huntington, the Islamic civilization is in confrontation with all other world civilizations, and “the borders of Arabia are borders of blood.”

This process has largely become evident when local young Muslims even indigenous converted to Islam, like in Germany, Britain and Sweden travel to fight the Islamic cause in the Middle East. For example, hundreds of Europeans and thousands of other Sunni Muslims have made Syria the land of Jihad. European security chiefs see the flow of extremists to and from Syria as their top terrorist threat. More American, European, and African Muslims are joining the Jihad in Syria and fight against the Syrian regime. Syria has become a magnet for Jihadists. “Demolishing “the New Jāhiliyah” and “the New Crusaderism” has become the item slogans.

This expansionist process sets out and expands like a virus, when the local Ummah-communities enclaves are integrated together to create a larger and stronger territories, challenging the basic well-being of the host-nations. It reveals the Islamic strategy of world occupation in phased processes. On May 22nd 1991, the Muslim Brotherhood organization in the United States has issued a memorandum on “the strategic goal for the group In North America.” The first article set the motion: The general strategic goal of the Group in America which was approved by Majlis al-Shûra and the Organizational Conference for the year [1987] is enablement of Islam in North America, meaning: establishing an effective and a stable Islamic Movement led by the Muslim Brotherhood which adopts Muslims’ causes domestically and globally, and which works to expand the observant Muslim base, aims at unifying and directing Muslims’ efforts, presents Islam as a civilization alternative, and supports the global Islamic State wherever it is.

It is important to understand: these stages are not organized according to place, time and space, rather the opportunity and the vacuum doctrine, it depends very much on the reaction or lack of it of the Infidels. Moreover, when operated, the amount or intensity depend again on the infidels. There is not one brain behind this all-around- the-world onslaught. There are many groups, organization and movements working independently, even against one another. They use different tactics and means, but they all work for the same objectives: the victory of Islam as a political religion.

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New Social Compact

An Analysis on Marshall McLuhan’s concepts

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Marshall McLuhan is an important scholar who has made major contributions to communication discipline through introducing new concepts like “global village” and “medium is the message”. It can be said that ideas of McLuhan can be applied to new technologies and social media discussions today.

McLuhan introduced the idea of “medium is the message” in his book called Medium is the Message that was published in 1967. According to McLuhan, what is said by the message is not very significant. The media actors which can be regarded as the medium hold a more major influence on the masses than the message it presents.

The medium (or media in other terms) does not only have the role of being the carrier of the message but it is also the message that shapes people’s views and perceptions (McLuhan, 1967). McLuhan, based on the idea of “medium is the message” gave examples to support his claim in his book Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man published in 1964. According to McLuhan, the content of any medium is always another medium. For instance, the content of writing is speech; the written word is the content of print; and print can be seen as the content of the telegraph (McLuhan, 1964).

Another important concept coined by McLuhan is “global village”. This concept was introduced in the 1960s to say that mass media will spread all over the world and make the world become a global village (McLuhan, 1962). According to McLuhan, the electronic interdependence of today’s world produces a world in the sense of “global village”. The global village has been created by the instant electronic information movement according to McLuhan.

McLuhan believed in the usefulness of communication technologies. One of the most important emphases McLuhan made was about drawing attention with his findings about the global communication revolution. According to McLuhan, TV has been a critical invention that ensures that nothing remains a secret, and that eliminates privacy, and he believed that the change of societies is possible with the development of communication tools in various forms. McLuhan made one of the most important predictions of the 20th century. This was  the Internet.

In contemporary world, social media is used by millions of user all over the world. New technologies have turned the world into a “global village” Although McLuhan said almost 60 years ago, his ideas about media (medium is the message) and the “global village” concept are still relevant today.

References

  • McLuhan, M. (1962), The Gutenberg Galaxy: The making of typographic man.   London: Routledge.
  • McLuhan M. (1964), Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man by Marshall McLuhan, McGraw Hill
  • McLuhan, M. (1967). The Medium is the Massage: An Inventory of Effects.  London: Penguin Press.

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Leaving no one behind with Fiqh for person with disability

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As I watch the new Netflix documentary, Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution produced by former President Barrack Obama and Michelle Obama, I realize thatthere is an urgent need for grassroot activism to support disability religious rights to pave the way towards greater equality. The movie highlights disabled summer campers who fight for the realization disability rights in 1970s, at the time when they were largely ignored by the state.

And does Indonesia need A Disability Revolution?

According to a study by Monash University, it is estimated that the disability prevalence rate in Indonesia is between 4% and 11%. There are several causes of disability, ranging from malnutrition, diseases, ageing population, natural disaster, and accident. Unfortunately, due to social stigma in the society against people with disability, the disability statistical figures may be underreported.

The Indonesian government has been actively involved in international convention by ratifying United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD) in 2007 and issued the law no. 8 of 2016 on rights of persons with disabilities to comply with human rights standards. But, at the same time the law faces some stagnate situation regarding improved well-beings of people with disabilities because disability prejudices are still at the heart of this tension. 

For example, disabled children are less likely to attend formal education because of lacking inclusive schools. In public places, ramps and accessible information are not easily available. Zooming into the workforce, Indonesian 2010 census reported that only 26,4% people with severe disabilities were employed in formal sectors. This resulted in high rate of self-employment among people with severe disabilities. Many people with mental disability, such as bipolar disorder, have to conceal their condition for the fear of losing jobs.

A research found that discriminations against people with disabilities in developing countries, including Indonesia, caused a loss of up to 7% of Gross Domestic Product(imagine : what if a genius with severe disability like the late Professor Stephen Hawking had never been employed at university?).

Women with disabilities even suffered more from double prejudices, by their gender and their disabilities. What makes thing more difficult for disabled citizens is that, despite of some disabilities laws and ministerial decrees, they were poorly enforced. This explains the urgency of ending this discrimination from a social-economic developmental perspective.

As the largest Muslim majority country in the world, Fiqh (Islamic jurisdiction) for person with disability remains important to safeguard equal religious rights. As a non-disabled Muslim woman, being able to perform Islamic prayer (shalat) properly help me increase my mental wellbeing during this unprecedented time.

Unfortunately, there are still some Muslims who believe that disabilities are by-products of witchcrafts (sihr) or demons (syaitan) which can be healed only by involving spirits and enchanting some quranic verses. Further, in Islamic law per se, there is no specific term which can encompass all disabilities.

“Fiqh for person with disability is very important because the society has yet to accommodate special needs for people with disabilities in performing religious rituals. For example, how does Islam regulate the wudlu(ablution) taken by a man/woman without arms? Considering that Islamic law obligates that someone must wash one’s arm up to elbow during wudlu. And will the wheelchair be considered as najis(impure) inside the mosque?” said Mr. Bahrul Fuad, a disabled person and board member of AIDRAN (Australia-Indonesia Disability Research and Advocacy Network).

Mr. Ahmad Ma’ruf, the Disability Program Team Leader of Muhammadiyah, the second largest and most influential Islamic organization in Indonesia after Nadlatul Ulama (NU), even posed critical questions:“What if persons with hearing impairment wish to get married and say ijabqabul (Islamic marriage vows), will they use sign language? Because religious court has yet to regulate the sign language issue. And who has the authority to validate the sign language as “legally correct” in Islamic marriage?  What if a man with wheelchair wishes to be an imam (leader of a congregational prayer)? Is he allowed to do that, given the fact that many people still interpret explicitly the regulation that makmum (member of a congregational prayer) must follow movements of imam? What if there is no accessible ablution facility in a mosque? Should a person with disability performs tayamum (dried ablution)?”

To address this issue, NUand Muhammadiyah issued Fiqh for person with disability and raise awareness of the public concerning equality for disabled communities. NU even collaborated with the Ministry of Religious Affairs to disseminate the Fiqhto mosques nationwide.

Fiqh for person with disability will fulfil civil rights of disabled community comprehensively, ranging from ubudiyah(religious rituals),muamalah(interpersonal relation), to sahusiah(public policy). This Fiqh will also protect rights of disabled women, as the most marginalized group.

To ensure the smooth implementation of the Fiqh, the government, civil societies, disabled people organizations, religious leaders, and experts of Islamic law should collaborate for accountable monitoring and evaluation. Regular capacity buildings for judges, teachers, and village officials should also be organized.

Finally, political buy-in through Perda(regional regulation)and guidelines should be issued to strengthen government officials’ commitment to enforce the Fiqh. For example, the Special Province of Aceh under Syariah law have regularly issued qanun(regional regulations subjected to Islamic stipulations).

Historically speaking, during the Umayyad Caliph era in the 700s, the Caliph Al-Waleed ibn ‘Abdul Malik accommodated health treatment needs for his population with disabilities through the provision of health care clinics within all his jurisdictional provinces. This idea was emulated by Caliph Umar Bin Abdul Aziz who hired support services workers for people with disabilities. This initiative resulted in social and legal impacts worldwide, in which a broad array of laws on disabilities were enacted.

In making public policy for citizens with disabilities, the government of Indonesia should not paint disabilities situation with a broad brush. Rather, Fiqhfor persons with disabilities must be taken into consideration seriously. Otherwise, there will be far-reaching consequences on well-beings of people with disabilities in the long run.

This Fiqhis a beacon of hope for future generations, to leave no one behind.

As put forward by a member of Crip Camp: “If you don’t demand what you believe for yourself, you’re not gonna get it”.

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Good Parenting Reduces the Divorce Rate

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Divorce is a very stressful event. Apart from having a bad impact on children, divorce has a major impact on the survival of the husband and wife who experience it. Divorced couples visit psychiatric clinics and hospitals more than couples from intact families. Divorced couples experience anxiety, depression, feelings of anger, feelings of incompetence, rejection, and loneliness.

In Indonesia, the divorce rate from year to year shows an increasing trend. The Ministry of Religious Affairs of the Republic of Indonesia reports that since 2015 until now there has been an increase in the divorce rate. In 2015 there were 394,246 cases, in 2016 it increased to 401,717 cases, then in 2017 it increased to 415,510 cases, as well as in 2018 it continued to increase to 444,358 cases, and by 2020, per August the number had reached 306,688 cases.

               The increase in the divorce rate from year to year has serious consequences in families. Conflict during the process of parental divorce and separation has a negative impact on the physical and psychological well-being of all family members. Quite a number of research results show that divorce has a negative effect on all family members, especially children. The results of Amato’s research in 2011 with a meta-analysis approach to 67 study results showed that children from divorced families had lower academic achievement, behavior, psychological adjustment, self-concept and social relations than children from intact families.

               Based on In the author’s empirical observation, the ending of marital status for a particular family also brings several social impacts, for example: narrowing social networks which results in a lack of social support, causes negative life experiences and psychological suffering, and causes economic hardship for women.

Thus rather than that, a marriage which basically originates from an agreement between two parties, so if there is a divorce, it is certain that both parties will suffer losses. Even children from marriages who divorce will share such losses. Then, what factors cause divorce? In my opinion, the substantial cause of divorce is the parenting concept of a married couple.

Good Parenting

               Parenting, generally known by the public as a pattern of parenting parents towards their children. This assumption is not completely wrong, but it must be straightened out that parenting is an ideal household conceptualization. Of course, you have to move from a husband and wife long before you have children. A husband and wife have had to discuss it long ago so that in various desired manifestations it can be carried out harmoniously together.

Parents (married couples), basically forming their children until they reach maturity will not be separated from the influence of their world. The mode of reflection on the relationship between parent and child is a complex activity that includes many specific attitudes and behaviors that work separately and collectively to influence the child’s outcome and the emotional bonds in which parental behavior is expressed.

In this case, parenting can be explained in terms of two components, namely parental responsiveness and parental demandness. Parents’ demands are the extent to which parents set guidelines for their children and how their discipline is based on these guidelines. Parental responsiveness is an emotional characteristic of parenting. Responsiveness continues to the extent to which parents support their children and meet the children’s needs. Both responsive and demanding parenting have been linked to securing attachment to children. Referring to Baumrind (1971), he identifies three parenting styles, namely: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive with responsive and demanding concepts in mind.

Authoritative parentingis a condition of authoritative parents as a combination of demands and responsiveness. They make logical demands, set boundaries and demand children’s obedience, while at the same time, they are friendly, accept the child’s point of view, and encourage children’s participation in decision-making and often seek their children’s views in family considerations and decisions. This type of parent is then referred to as the type of parent who monitors and disciplines their children fairly, while being very supportive at the same time.

Authoritarian parenting, a demanding and unresponsive parental condition. They engage in little reciprocal interaction with children and expect them to accept adult demands without question. Strict socialization techniques (threads, commands, physical strength, love withdrawal) are used by parents who are authoritarian and withhold self-expression and independence. Authoritarian parents tend to set high standards and guidelines and require compliance. Authoritarian parents attribute love to success and not nurturing like the other two parenting styles.

Permissive parenting, consists of several clear and predictable rules due to inconstant follow-up and neglected bad behavior, neutral or positive affective tone. They give children a high degree of freedom and do not restrain their behavior unless physical injury involves. Permissive parenting shows an overly tolerant approach to socialization with responsive and non-demanding parenting behavior. These parents are nurturing and accepting, but at the same time they avoid imposing demands and controls on the child’s behavior. They have little or no hope for their children and often see their children as friends and have few boundaries.

Based on the three parenting models above that the author has reviewed and conducted a literature review, it is clear that the Good Parenting pattern that must be applied by a husband and wife is authoritative parenting. This concept implies a condition in which a positive influence on the realm of a child’s life until he grows up on the aspects of education and psychological well-being is formed.

A positive parent-child relationship illustrates that the family will survive in harmony so that it becomes the foundation of a healthy home and community environment. The influence of the parents on the whole life of the child means the influence from birth to adulthood due to the parents. Children spend most of their time at home and the attitudes, behavior, standard of living, and communication of parents with their children have a major impact on the child’s future life. If their parents are too strict or too obedient, it has a negative impact on their life. But the supportive, caring and flexible attitude of the parents results in a psychologically and mentally healthy child.

Parents (a married couple) should adopt an authoritative parenting style and practically apply it when dealing with their children. They are the backbone of a nation and the nation’s future depends on their psychosocial development. Healthy parents can produce healthy children in exchange for a healthy nation. On the other hand, unhealthy parents (husband and wife) will have a bad influence, a small example is divorce. And this is a burden for the nation.

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